Rethinking my Speed Dating Experience...

It seems that I may have prematurely determined that I felt no chemistry with one of my speed dating candidates… Out of the twelve guys I met, I did actually indicate on my dating card that I was interested in one of them - Paul. During the six minute “date”, I wasn’t entirely sure that we connected but I was physically attracted to him and he appeared to be intelligent and have a good sense of humor. In addition, he and his buddy stayed after the formal event was over to chat with my girlfriend and me. At that time, I didn’t really think he was specifically interested in me, but the four of us seemed to have a good rapport, lots of laughter and we easily finished off the last of the wines from the tasting event.

It was two days later when I received an email that we had both selected one another as potential matches. The email provided one another’s contact information and I received a "nice to have met you" email from him three days later. From there we began a witty banter between several email exchanges before deciding on a date to meet. Upon confirmation of a timeframe - “Sunday late afternoon/early evening” – he offered a variety of impressively creative suggestions including: (1) attendance at a local sporting event, (2) a walk and casual dinner in his waterfront neighborhood, (3) coming to my neighborhood or (4) taking his convertible for a drive to watch the sunset and dine at a cozy Mediterranean restaurant along the coastline. I am a sucker for convertibles and great sunsets so it was a no-brainer, I easily chose option #4.

We met in his neighborhood at 6pm, jumped into his convertible and embarked on a near-perfect Sunday afternoon drive along the gorgeous coastline. Our interaction immediately felt easy and very natural. Upon arrival to the restaurant, the bartender provided our first glasses of wine in paper cups so we could take them to the beach to watch the waves and sunset. Our dinner reservation was for 7pm but it was a bit past the hour when we returned to the restaurant. Paul was not only attractive as well as charming with his quick wit and sarcastic humor but was also a traditional gentleman, holding doors and even locating a napkin to clean the sand off of the heels of my shoes as we returned from the beach.

Upon being seated, we ordered a bottle of wine and an appetizer, then continued our conversation. We enthusiastically discussed topics such as our favorite vacation spots, most interesting neighborhoods, spirituality, elementary school pranks and the latest New York Times bestseller – the content was varied and entertaining. It felt like thirty minutes may have passed when the waiter tentatively approached our table and apologetically asked if we would mind placing the orders for our entrées as the kitchen was closing in five minutes – at 10PM! We quickly made our menu selections and later acknowledged that we hardly remembered eating our food because we were talking and laughing so much. We took our final bites of the crème brulee as the last employees were turning off the lights in the surrounding dining spaces. Our drive back along the water was again full of engaging conversation. In total, our date lasted nearly eight hours and as I left, I could hardly wait to see him again.


Lemon: hmmm, this is a tough one… still pondering the downside of what appears to be a great connection…

Honey: It is nearly impossible to fake, fairly rare and so rewarding to connect with someone in meaningful conversation past the obligatory “cocktail chatter”. Truly fulfilling dialogue requires a fine balance between listening, asking questions and contributing information… in this case, the balance felt effortless.