Did someone say "communication"???

Ivan and I first met at a hotel bar near his home. We had met online the previous week and with a busy week of working out of several offices, we agreed to meet on the day I was working near his neighborhood. He was casually dressed in jeans, a faded t-shirt and running shoes but was attractive and very witty. We enjoyed one beverage before we both had to leave for previously scheduled dinner plans. He called the following day to invite me to a movie and drinks the following weekend. While Date #2 met all of the basic date criteria, it concluded with me feeling like we knew each other little more than after our initial meeting. After the movie we had gone for exactly one drink as he needed “to be fresh for an early morning meeting”. And, he had gulped that one drink down in less than ten minutes! Accordingly, our conversation was brief and superficial in nature. I hoped that Date #3 would yield a conversation breakthrough… until he suggested another movie. This time, he requested that I come to his home and we go from there. When I arrived at his home, I was anticipating a jaunt to a local theater but he suggested we watch a movie at his place (umm, okay, this was starting to feel a bit like a boy in college trying to make out…). I wanted to be (or at least appear to be) spontaneous and ever-flexible and thus, I agreed. He asked me to view the bookcase of movies and pick something I liked. When I finally selected three possible titles, he advised me that he had actually seen them all and suggested we select one from the “pay per view” list (ummm, okay… so why’d he even ask me to look at the bookcase? Did he not already know he’d likely seen all of his own movies??).

It went downhill from there… it seems the television screen in the living room was “too small” so he suggested we watch the movie in his bedroom. We watched a three-hour epic sitting on his bed, with our backs propped against the wall, drinking rum and cokes and feeling like I was back in high school. He tried to make “a move” a couple of times but I made it clear that I was extremely interested in following every, little detail of the storyline. At the end of the movie, I made an explanation of having to be up early the next morning and quickly made my escape with a quick peck on the cheek. Three strikes and you’re OUT! Emotionally stunted? Perhaps. Painfully anti-social? Maybe. Not the one for me? Definitely.

Lemons: I am a social being. I like to talk and I like to listen. Meaningful dialogue is extremely important to me. Ivan taught me that I cannot date someone who is unable or unwilling to share of oneself and get to know me in the same manner. Seems like normal adult human interaction, doesn’t it?!

Hungry Girl

I met Jeff at a local pub while waiting in line for beer and listening to 80’s tunes on the juke box. In fact, his friend and I were actually hitting it off quite well…that is, until his friend found himself too drunk to stand in line any longer. Enter Jeff. Initially, I wasn’t really all that attracted to him physically, but he was smart, funny and very entertaining. So, I agreed to go out with him. The first date was billed as “dinner and a comedy club”. We arrived with plenty of time to spare, grabbed our tickets and proceeded to a charming Italian restaurant down the street. We ordered cocktails and perused the menu. After the waiter took my order for a chicken and sundried tomato penne entree, Jeff advised him that he was simply “good with just the wine”. He then explained to me that he had been obese as an adolescent and young adult. And, after losing nearly one hundred pounds by limiting his daily intake to a two liter container of diet soda, he found that he could now only eat one meal a day to maintain his weight loss. And, since he had eaten breakfast that day, he was done.

Now, I am average height and weight, but I must say, I LOVE MY FOOD. Eating is not only a necessity for nourishment, it is a social ritual that brings me great joy - to me, sharing a meal with someone is intimate, it fosters meaningful dialogue and is truly one of my favorite hobbies. And as I quickly learned that night with Jeff, it is just not the same when someone simply watches me eat.

Not wanting to be too quick to judge, I suggested for our next date that we go to dinner again but that this time, it be Jeff’s daily meal. He was game and I suggested my favorite sushi spot. He asked if he could order for both of us and I obliged. It is important to note that he ordered significantly less than what I order there when I am ALONE. And, when the petite, itsy-bitsy order arrived, he quickly ate his share and confidently announced how incredibly full he was! Again, I do not think I eat an abnormally large amount of food, but I am also not a dainty “oh I’m already full after one bite of lettuce” kind of gal either. However, in an effort to not appear like a great hungry hippo, I agreed at how filling the meal was. And then, I went home alone and made a sandwich… a really big sandwich. As you may guess, there was no Date #3 and heck, who knows…perhaps he is blogging somewhere today about me as “The REALLY Hungry Girl”!

Lemon: I want a man that shares my vision of a meal as a meaningful experience to share together. I want a man that eats...regularly. And, when he does eat, I want for him to eat as much or more than I do.