Did someone say "communication"???

Ivan and I first met at a hotel bar near his home. We had met online the previous week and with a busy week of working out of several offices, we agreed to meet on the day I was working near his neighborhood. He was casually dressed in jeans, a faded t-shirt and running shoes but was attractive and very witty. We enjoyed one beverage before we both had to leave for previously scheduled dinner plans. He called the following day to invite me to a movie and drinks the following weekend. While Date #2 met all of the basic date criteria, it concluded with me feeling like we knew each other little more than after our initial meeting. After the movie we had gone for exactly one drink as he needed “to be fresh for an early morning meeting”. And, he had gulped that one drink down in less than ten minutes! Accordingly, our conversation was brief and superficial in nature. I hoped that Date #3 would yield a conversation breakthrough… until he suggested another movie. This time, he requested that I come to his home and we go from there. When I arrived at his home, I was anticipating a jaunt to a local theater but he suggested we watch a movie at his place (umm, okay, this was starting to feel a bit like a boy in college trying to make out…). I wanted to be (or at least appear to be) spontaneous and ever-flexible and thus, I agreed. He asked me to view the bookcase of movies and pick something I liked. When I finally selected three possible titles, he advised me that he had actually seen them all and suggested we select one from the “pay per view” list (ummm, okay… so why’d he even ask me to look at the bookcase? Did he not already know he’d likely seen all of his own movies??).

It went downhill from there… it seems the television screen in the living room was “too small” so he suggested we watch the movie in his bedroom. We watched a three-hour epic sitting on his bed, with our backs propped against the wall, drinking rum and cokes and feeling like I was back in high school. He tried to make “a move” a couple of times but I made it clear that I was extremely interested in following every, little detail of the storyline. At the end of the movie, I made an explanation of having to be up early the next morning and quickly made my escape with a quick peck on the cheek. Three strikes and you’re OUT! Emotionally stunted? Perhaps. Painfully anti-social? Maybe. Not the one for me? Definitely.

Lemons: I am a social being. I like to talk and I like to listen. Meaningful dialogue is extremely important to me. Ivan taught me that I cannot date someone who is unable or unwilling to share of oneself and get to know me in the same manner. Seems like normal adult human interaction, doesn’t it?!