Well, it has been nearly two months since our first date and while still very early in "relationship time", Paul (that's right, the guy from Speed Dating!) continues to be someone I very much enjoy spending time with and getting to know. We have wined and dined, shopped, cooked, attended events and are currently in the midst of planning our first weekend away together. While the first months of our dating life have provided plenty of rich content with which to populate my blog, my wish is not to make this a journal for the inevitable ups and downs of my relationship, but rather to create a more interactive forum focused upon the topics of dating and relationships in general.
As I have recounted tales of Paul's courting behavior, I have had several single girlfriends tell me that his conduct serves as a meaningful reminder to them. A reminder that guys like him do still exist. And a reminder to not accept those first dates from guys that text 10 minutes before they want to go out and then, have no idea where to go or what to do! And here's the deal: what Paul has done (and continues to do) is really not all that difficult and sadly, it shouldn't be that unusual. BUT (and I hope all the guys reading this are paying attention), his dating behavior is indeed rare and, quite obviously, sincerely appreciated by more women than just me.
What is this mysterious behavior, you ask? Well, quite simply, it is treating the woman as if you really would like to take her out. It is having respect for her and her time. There is no magic formula but it can be as basic as: calling rather than texting; as having a plan - suggesting activities, bar/restaurants (and even making a reservation!); offering to drive (even if she lives six - or even ten - miles away!); opening the car door (and that restaurant/bar door too!)... It is these seemingly small actions that make us feel a little bit extra special and as if you actually want to spend time with us.
So I now invite you, the reader, to share your stories... the "best of's..." as well as those "worst of's...". What's your best first date story? And what about your most disappointing first date?
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I'll take a stab at this...
ReplyDeleteHaving been in the dating world as an early 20 something, then married, then divorced, then back into the dating world as a early 30 something, I was shocked at how much everything had changed. The biggest difference I found was the cell phone. When I was in my teens and early 20's dating, no one I knew had a cell phone. We actually spoke to each other on the phone or in person.
I still am not attached to my cell phone, I rarely text (takes too long)so when I was back in the dating world and guys would want to text, I was a fish out of water. Texting to me is, "I'll be there in 5" or "stuck in traffic, going to be late" or "what time is the movie"...something short and to the point. Anything else (in my humble opinion)can wait till a phone call or face to face. When I was dating my now husband, we talked on the phone and I liked that, help us to get closer and know more about one another (we did long distance for a year).
Definitely am showing my age here and know that when my 2 year old daughter is 11 and begging me for a cell phone, she'll get so tired of hearing me say, "well when I was your age I didn't have a cell phone and I turned out just fine..."